Your negative gut feeling is the most accurate sign of an impending breakup. You’ve spent a lot of time worrying about your relationship and attempted to express your problems, but weren’t heard? It’s time to trust your gut.
There is no point salvaging the fallen relationship if you have unfulfilled emotional needs, believe that you deserve better, and no longer love the person. The reality will remain the same no matter how much you attempt to alter it. So, when to call it quits in a relationship? Let’s take a look at a few pointers that show the time has come.
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Love relationships are precious, but….
Let’s get real and face a disheartening truth: people are terrible at managing the emotions associated with being in a relationship. We are conditioned to assume that romantic relationships are the core of excitement and passion in life. But there are times when it might be difficult to tell whether a relationship is over since the passion has dwindled to virtually nothing.
Many people continue with relationships that they are ambivalent about, not knowing whether to leave their partners or stick it out for the long term, but that’s usually not a good idea. Why? Think about it: the purpose of being in a relationship is to be happy. When you are not, it may mean you need to try harder, but if you did and it didn’t help, it’s time to call it quits.
A great relationship has plenty of romance, passion, and dynamism, and one that doesn’t has nowhere to go. The best thing to do is to leave before items become any worse. You must be brave and assume the responsibility for taking the difficult but necessary step. Thinking about your own well-being isn’t selfish at all: that’s survival.
When to call it quits in a relationship? Common red flags
If you and your partner have multiple unresolved problems that don’t go away no matter what you do, it may be time to end the relationship. There are some common symptoms indicating it’s time to call it quits in a relationship. Let’s consider them.
Do you and your partner still respect each other?
Good relationships, romantic or otherwise, start with respect. Once lost, respect is not easily recovered, and it’s definitely better to be alone than with someone you despise or pity.
It is essential to clarify that we are all equals and deserve to be treated fairly. For a romantic relationship to work, you need to appreciate your partner’s intellect, interests, livelihood, views, and ideas. If you genuinely believe your partner is stupid, morally corrupt, or simply nasty, walk away!
Have you lost trust?
Trust is the foundation that holds a relationship together. It assures you that the individual will always be devoted to you. Without trust, a relationship’s long-term prospects are uncertain at best. In this case, you’ll try to manage your partner and act as a detective, denying them their freedom and robbing them and yourself of peace of mind.
If you think the person you’re with is untrustworthy and might betray you at any moment, you need to part ways with them. Don’t even think when to call it quits in this relationship: the time is now, and waiting could set you up for serious problems.
Is there a lack of intimacy between you?
It’s normal for couples to have ups and downs in sex life. But if intimacy has decreased and stayed low and you’re not trying to work it out or speak about what’s going on in your relationship pretending nothing is out of the ordinary, you’re not valuing the physical connection that was there previously. That means you and your partner have lost interest in each other.
Being stuck in an asexual relationship is difficult for anyone who values closeness. Not only you’ll be unhappy and frustrated most of the time, but there won’t even be ways to reduce tension through good sex. This will upset you and your partner further and make arguments spin out of control. It might also cause you to cheat. If your gaze wanders, this is the time to call it quits before more harm is done.
Are fights common, or you are too apathetic to fight?
After an argument, it’s difficult to re-establish common ground and a feeling of connection. Fights may become more frequent and heated as a result of underlying unresolved issues. Knowing this, some people try to dodge fights; however, not fighting at all may show indifference and carelessness.
So, counterintuitive as this may be, a complete lack of fighting in a relationship plagued with problems is a critical warning sign that both partners are no longer willing to work and a breakup is inevitable. The good thing here, though, is that you probably won’t have to think when to call it quits in a relationship: it’ll likely fall apart on its own as neither of you will do anything to prevent that from happening.
Are you missing the freedom of being single?
A love relationship should be mutually rewarding, beneficial, and enjoyable, so it’s likely to terminate when both parties (1) need to regularly take a break or get away from one other, and (2) feel better separately than together.
The logic of this is straightforward: you start thinking about being alone or single when the relationship isn’t working, it’s literally as simple as that. Note that a little thinking about what your life would be like without your partner and even spouse is completely fine, (that’s just one of the mind’s tendencies to imagine an alternative to the current status quo at play) but if can’t think of anything else each time the two of you get together, that is a very serious warning sign indeed.
Are you or your partner neglecting responsibilities?
Being in a love relationship isn’t always easy even for matches made in heaven, and an important reason for that is responsibilities that come along with the fun. Performing all the usual duties of a couple on your own while your partner or spouse doesn’t lift a finger to help you is tiring both physically and emotionally, and eventually, it’ll lead to a breakdown.
There are plenty of good reasons why responsibilities in a good romantic relationship should be shared between both parties (for instance, if someone doesn’t put any effort into it, he or she will not value the relationship that much). So, whether this is domestic chores, maintaining finances in top shape, or keeping up with friends and family, make sure your partner does not take the back seat and actively participates in at least some of the activities crucial for your happiness. Otherwise, this relationship will quickly become a burden that sucks the life out of you.
Do your issues remain unresolved?
Every relationship faces challenges that should be acknowledged, discussed, worked on, and resolved (in this order). Otherwise, problems generate mutual bitterness regardless of whose fault they really are. Unresolved issues, huge egos, and unwillingness to attempt reconciliation all contribute to breakups even if the partners were very much in love with each other when the relationship began.
Some people have difficulty expressing their emotions, which is not necessarily a flaw as long as they make an attempt to communicate still. But if they don’t, the difficulties bothering them grow quickly, so if you or your partner systematically refuses to speak about his or her concerns in your relationship, don’t wait for the time bomb to go off. It may be not too soon to start thinking about when to call it quits in a relationship already.
When to call it quits in a relationship? Final thoughts
While there is usually no exact tell to predict a relationship’s likelihood to continue or end, the very fact that you’re asking yourself when to call it quits in a relationship is a good indication that something isn’t working for you and your partner right now. You have to remember, though, that issues and problems are common for every couple, and often they are nothing but normal ebbs and flows in a dynamically developing relationship. So you shouldn’t just run away after the first sign of tension in a relationship, but if you recognized your situation in several of the examples listed above, that’s definitely a reason to give the whole thing a good thought.
If you did recognize more than you would have liked but aren’t ready to give up, do keep in mind that it is almost always possible to rescue a failing relationship, but only if both parties are ready and willing to work on it (and that is really key). Together, you can improve the deteriorating relationship with open communication, commitment, and even expert help. Then even if you do split in the end, nobody including yourself will be able to blame you for not trying, and the experience accumulated in the process should help you get into a new and rewarding relationship when the time comes.