They say that the three top reasons for problems in relationships are, and not nessasarily in this order:
1. Money, how to spend it, how to save it or lack of it, etc.
2. Communication, not talking, talking too much (nagging), not listening, etc.
3. Sex, not any, not enough, too much, etc.
My soulmate, is by far the best communicator I have ever met. She listens, she waits, she listens some more, she asks questions if needed, she’s patient, she talks. She is never domineeering nor is she ever overbearing with words or actions. She has taught me how to communicate. She has brought it to an artform for me. When she talks with me it is just that, she talks with me never at me. She looks at me with her dark eyes, intense at what my next word will be. At times when I say something that she is not expecting such as, stopping in the middle of a sentence to tell her I love her just because she is listening to me, I take her breath.
She has taught me that to be a good communicator you must first be a great listener. She has never told me this, but I see it by her example. She told me once when I was saying something to the tune of, “dont you ever get tired of listening to me talk or asking questions?” Her reply was the best, “if I stop you from talking then one or the other of us will never feel comfortable or relaxed enough to say what we have on our minds ever again.” She took my breath when she said this because of the power of it. She cares about us, she wants us to communicate, she wants us to be together, for that reason alone I love her.
However, there are also so many other reasons that I love her.
It is not hard to do, its rather easy once you learn the only rule of communication. You must love each other, you must be connected to each other. This way you will care, you will be concerned about the importance of your partners feelings of sharing. This way you will listen. My soulmate is the greatest listener in the world. And I am the luckiest man in the world!