What a great
idea to set aside a day for remembering those we love. It’s even
more than just remembering; it’s romancing.
But it is also
a holiday that many dread.
the romantic tradition of this holiday, many hearts feel isolated,
alone and left out. Many dread it so much, that they will not even
venture out to a restaurant or movie on this day that seems to be
set-aside for lovers.
Why are so
many people alone?
Why are Cupid’s
arrows not landing?
While I don’t
feel I have satisfactory answers to these questions, I would like
to share a few perspectives here for us all to ponder. Agree or
disagree, perhaps these insights can be helpful.
a look at a few of the arrows many ask to be shot from Cupid’s arsenal
and see if this helps us understand this dilemma a little better.
Arrow 1 –
The Bulls-Eye Arrow
With this arrow,
Cupid is asked to hit dead center of the bulls-eye. This is what
I call the must-be-perfect-to-be-my-love-interest arrow.
Is it at all
possible that the perfection sought by many in relationships is
only a mirage? Is it possible that the lofty dreams of relationship
bliss that leaves one soaring away on clouds of romance and splendor
to live happily ever after is only that, dreams?
While I am
not at all suggesting significant differences aren’t valid concerns,
there comes a time in this world of imperfections and human imperfections
that one has to decide if they are going to keep the ideal and give
up the person or keep the person and give up the ideal.
I’m so glad
my wife chose to give up the ideal and keep the person.
Arrow 2 – The
the body! Body Heat. The fires of passion and sex.
the body seems to be the perspective of many in their approach to
dating and relationship building these days. How many relationships
have sizzled out due to a premature embracing of sexual desires?
from Cupid’s arsenal often burn out before they hit their mark.
we ask on our site is: Is the heartbeat of relationships found more
in “Being Wanted for a Night of a Lifetime” or in “Being
Wanted for a Lifetime of Nights”?
Love for a
night is easy. It’s biological! Love for a Lifetime of Nights is
something else all together. We believe it’s what we were made for
and what the human heart desires.
The point I
am trying to make here is when one leads-with-the-body, don’t be
surprised when the flaming arrow burns out before anything of depth
and substance develops.
Arrow 3 –
The Shot-In-The-Dark Arrow
You see this
arrow being used so often in reality shows.
I find it interesting
how couples try to get together based on feelings, a selection of
friends and family members or through the dictates of a national
television audience. Often, in this scenario, very little time is
really spent getting to know one another.
Love is so
much more than an attraction. It is so much more than a feeling.
It is even so much more than physical desire.
blind! It has as a foundation the building blocks of likeability.
It is feelings of love ignited by the flames of likeability.
You can’t just
ask yourself if you are in love! You must ask yourself if you are
It’s not that
you like “how they make you feel”. It’s not that you like
having something to do when they’re around. It’s not even that you
like your life more with them than you do without them.
matters is that you like the person they are. This takes getting
to know one another.
An arrow shot
in the dark is going to have difficulty finding a target.
So, the next
time you find yourself lonely and alone, cut Cupid some slack and
you just may want to look into what arrows you are requiring released
from Cupid’s arsenal.
Copyright 2004 advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com by Stanley
J. Leffew, All Rights Reserved!
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