to Being a Mom
name is Audrey but no one ever called me by that name. Not even
at school. It was always Audie. I was very shy as a girl. But as
I got to be older it went better for me in high school. I was in
foster homes a lot and that didn’t help my shyness at all. It seemed
like I couldn’t talk with no one. When I decide to talk with someone
I had to move again.
it came to having a boyfriend. I just went with it. I wasn’t into
them like the other girls in my class. Having the idea of someone
wanting to spending their life with me scared me. I didn’t know
if I could live in one spot. Got used to moving all the time that
ir just kind of grew on me.
But the day came when i had to go to court and they asked who I
wanted to live with? No one in my family had a fosters licence.
And I didn’t know at the time. So the court said you can either
go to another foster home or go live with your aunt. I said “okay”
I can just go with my aunt. “Right”, but no, the problem
was that I had never met her. So I would be living once again with
so bad if I thought more about it. At least it was family I was
moving in with.
was time to move in with her now. She lived five hours away from
where I have been all my life. When the transporter brought me there
she wasn’t even there. And the transporter just left me there. SO
there I was just seating on the porch with all of my suit cases.
There was still school going on because school buses kept coming
and droping kids off right next to me. I wasn’t sure what to do.
Wanted to leave but where could I go? Didn’t even know where I was?
Wanted to just go home and for get this even happened. But out of
no where. I heard a soft voice coming near me. “Hello can I
help you?” I looked up and seen a lady coming near me. Yes
I told her. I am going to moving here but I don’t where they are?
SO I am just seating here waiting for them to get home to talk with
them. She then asked me. So do you know who your waiting for? “No,
I don’t.” I said.
She looked at me with soft eyes and said “OH babe it will be
okay, this is my mom’s house she just went to the bank.” I
will help you bring your things in.
We went in and the house looked so big to me. She then asked if
I was hungry? I wasn’t but where I am from when someone asks you
if your hungry you eat. So I sat down and ate.
It wasn’t long tha my auntie came into the door. She looked just
like me I thought to myself. She hugged and told me she has been
waiting for me. But had to make a quick stop at the bank. And she
was sorry for having me wait outside. I was feeling a lot better.
that night we sat down to have dinner. She was telling that she
travels every weekend. I was happy to hear that. She said that she
travels stick games. I wasn’t sure what that was but went with it
any how. She said to get ready if I wanted to go because she was
leaving early in the morning. SO I went to my suit cases and started
to pick cloths out. I didn’t know where we going? Didn’t have any
money either. But just decide to get six sets of cloths any how.
when morning came she came in to wake up but I was already in the
shower getting ready. I got out and started to cook a little something
for breakfest. We both ate and on the road we went. I am a really
bad car baby. every time I get into the car I get sleepy. So when
I woke up we were there. I heard singing and druming. I walked where
I counld hear this. And it was under a white tent. There was so
many people. Gambling and laughing. I was looking around and my
aunting then came up to me and said, are you ready? ‘I sure am’
I said to her. So she took me by my hand and sat in the second row
of a team. I then noticed that in front of me was her son. She handed
me a rattle and said to try and sing. SO I just kept listening to
the songs and then just started to sing. Didn’t want to make a mistake
so I didn’t want to sing that loud. But my auntie kept pushing me
to sing louder. Hours went by and had won a lot of money. Like $300
so I decided to go and look for some food and just take a look around.
I saw this girl and decided to talk to her. I thought that she might
know how to sing these songs. But she didn’t she just learing to
she said. So we just walked around. She seem to be nice so I decided
to be friends with her.
all of a sudden wanted me to meet her brother. She kept telling
me that he wasn’t going with no one. But I told her that I didn’t
want to. I was okay just trying to deal with my move and needed
time. And really I just wanted to me single. Had no time for a man
right now. All they want to do is boss women around and hell about
nothing. I wasn’t wanting none of that. But I needed to go to the
store. My auntie was no where to be found. So I went with my new
friend to ask if her brother could take me? He looked at me and
smiled. Then said to me ” You need a ride a baby?” Baby,
where did that come from? I didn’t even know this guy. I was mad
and said nothing. Just stood there for a moment. Then walked back
to the tanr hoping to find my auntie once more. Found her and just
started to sing and laugh with her. Didn’t tell her nothing just
thought she would have laughed at me. So I then noticed that he
stick gamed to because he was walking by us a lot. I didn’t want
to look at him. But he then stood right next to me so I moved my
chair! He looked at me funny and walked away.
came and my auntie went to sleep. I was just walking around. A girl
came up to me and told me that her cousin liked me a lot. Couldn’t
quit talking about me. I said so what. She then asked if I could
do her a favor? He was sleeping in the wroung tent. That tent was
for little kids to sleep in. She needed help getting him out. So
I said okay I can try to help. I thought she meant lifting him up
or something But she then said “whisper something to him”.
Me what. So I layed right next to his ear and said. “Hey did
you want to talk to me? Hey wakeup…” But nothing he was out.
So then I said I would try one more time. I shook him and said H
E L L O. My name is Audie. His eyes opened and looked right into
mine. He words were so soft. “I have been trying to talk with
you all night”. I told him to come here I had something to
whisper in his ear outside the tent. He got right away and said
what, what is it? I then looked at him and said your sleeping in
some kids tent they just wanted me to wake up! I got to go. He looked
at me and said no.
told me his name was Moon from the Muckleshoot Tribe and wanted
to get to know me more. I seemed to be nice to him. He then asked
me where I was from? Why has he not seen me before? Who was I with?
So I said “The name is Audie as you may know. I am from Colville
rez but now living on the Muckleshoot Rez. I here with my auntie.
WHY??? He then smiled and said good I live right down the hill from
you. Can I take you out for a bite? No thanks I not hungry. I looking
for my auntie. I think it is time to go home. have a good one okay.
And left it like that.
auntie found me and we went back to the van, to get ready to go
home. She put the key in but it wouldn’t turn over. We were stuck
or something. I just sat there. wasn’t sure what to do. Moon walked
over and asked if we were okay? No I told him the key won’t start
the van. Something is broken. He then went over looked at it and
fixed it. He said try now. “WOW there it went. It started.”
So he said so how about that number? Or can I see you? So I said
sure. He said that he knew where I lived. Because he used to stick
game with my aunties son. So I left like that and went to sleep.
I knew it was going to be a long ride home.
I got home I decided to take a shower. I got out and there he was
waiting in the living room. He looked up at me and smiled. Asked
if I want to go to the movies with him?
on and so on…
now we have a baby. Her name is Alexis and she is 4mo. old. I am
still in love with this man named Moon.
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